Glorify Your Name

Don’t wish it away. Pain, suffering, sickness, longing, loneliness and betrayal. Pain makes you want to DO something. Anything! Just make it go away. No one savors suffering. But what if God’s glory is demonstrated through it?

Jesus knew what was coming. The betrayal of friends, rejection, mocking, slander, loneliness, agony and suffering upon a cross. He would bare the weight of sin for all mankind. He could have wished it away or merely snapped His fingers and changed the ending of His story. Instead, propelled by love, He pursued glory.

“How my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name!”~John 12:27-28

Life brings burdens but God gets the glory every time we persevere, trusting His will above our own. All the worrying, fretting and fighting the pain, won’t change a thing. But surrender, that is something we can do. Surrender to the unknowns, knowing He’s got You. If He is for you who and what can be against you?

I’m learning to say, “Glorify Your Name!” When people offend me, glorify Your name! When I’m in pain and I get a scary report from the doctor, glorify Your name! When I feel lonely, misunderstood and I don’t fit in, glorify Your name! When friends wound my heart, glorify Your name! When I don’t know what to say or do and doubt permeates my thoughts, glorify Your name! When I’m afraid, and the future looks uncertain, glorify Your name! When the waiting is agonizing and relief is nowhere in sight, glorify Your name! When I experience sudden loss, glorify Your name! When I just can’t do it any longer, You can, so glorify Your name! When all is said and done, and my time on earth is through, I hope to have brought glory to His name. The name above all names, Jesus Christ.🙌🙌🙌

Prayer: Lord, To say thank you for the cross seems inadequate. The suffering You endured on our behalf is painful to think about and yet it reminds us of Your great love for us. Thank you that even while we were still sinners, You died for us, paving the way to our freedom forevermore. May we be found in You. When life gets hard, people get mean, and we feel a sense of hopelessness, help us to say, ‘Glorify Your Name’. Be glorified in our perseverance. May we glorify You above all else in our lives. You are worthy! In Jesus name, Amen

Hole-y Truth

“You don’t have to protect your image here.” The Pastor encouraged me to be open in the group, designed for ministry leaders. It’s a challenge to be transparent when in leadership. People in American culture often like to put pastors and their families on a pedestal, or get envious and judgmental when they discover we are only human. Pedestals are lonely, dangerous places. I’ve never been fond of heights for fear I might fall. I’m far to aware of my own weaknesses to climb the ladder of superiority.

The Pastor who lead our group, having his own battle scars from years in ministry, encouraged transparency and so I broke, sharing the painful experiences my husband and I had endured that year. What started out as such a relief, to be able to let down our guard, became a nightmare as the pastor later went on to accuse and undermine us, out of his own fear and greed. He dug some big wholes in the truth and we got hurt in the process. There was no discussion allowed. He cut us off from friends and forbid us from coming back to the training he had invited us to. It was shocking, hurtful and heart breaking. It left my heart reeling in confusion. Who can I really trust?? There is only One, Jesus.

I’d love to say there’s been some kind of resolve to our situation, a restoration of relationship to those we had loved, an awakening to the truth, along with an apology from the pastor that caused my husband and I so much pain, but this side of heaven that is unlikely. It still hurts. The pain of betrayal runs deep, but God’s grace runs deeper. Keeping it real, the painful memories of what we went through over a year ago swelled in my heart this morning. But I know where to go when that happens. I find relief at the feet of Jesus, where truth, love and grace abound. It is only at His feet that I regain the strength to get up, press on and fight the good fight.

In Mark 5 we read about the bleeding woman, desperate for healing. For twelve years she navigated life with her condition, had suffered through painful medical treatments and spent all she had, yet it only grew worse. She was broke and still broken. In her desperation, she sought after Jesus, knowing if she could just touch the hem of Jesus clothing, she would be healed. Such faith. He had a reputation for being gracious, power-filled, and she believed. She makes her way through the crowd that is pressing all around Him, grasping through the crowd, she touches His clothing and miraculously, it happens…she is healed! In an instant, her whole life is changed as she experiences the healing power of Jesus. But her healing wasn’t just physical.

Jesus knows His power has “gone out” from Him and He inquires,”Who touched me?” Being that He is God, He already knew the answer. He had a purpose for her, greater than her physical healing. Mark 5:33 describes that “the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.” Notice that at this point, she had already been healed of her infirmity. Yet, she trembled with fear. Why? Was she afraid she had done something wrong? Had people convinced her that she was responsible for her health problems? That her bleeding must be the result of some secret sin? Was she afraid of what people would think when she spoke of her healing? Or was it just being called out by Jesus, unsure of how he might respond? Would He rebuke her like the other “religious people”? Either way, her response, is God honoring and one we should emulate. When we are fear-filled, in pain, and broken, there’s no better place than at the gracious feet of Jesus.

At His feet she revealed the “whole truth”. That phrase gives me pause. While honesty is something I greatly value, occasionally I struggle with full disclosure, the whole truth. In my experience sharing the whole truth with people has proven to be risky, dangerous, and painful… “churchy” people sometimes enjoy kicking a person while they are down….like the pastor did to us. But, with Jesus, honesty is where healing is found.

Fear of people’s opinions or circumstances can cause us to leave out the whole truth and create little potholes along OUR way….when we leave out the whole truth we are no longer operating in HIS way. The trouble with hole-y truths is that we have to remember where all the holes are or we will trip over them, hurting ourselves and others along the way. In fact, they can get so deep, we can fall in completely, making it difficult to get back up again. Fortunately, Jesus can lift us up out of our pits and usher us back to His way. His grace and mercy are more than sufficient for all of our potholes…even the potholes we didn’t create.

When we approach Jesus with fear, trembling, and the whole truth (the good, bad and the ugly), He says, “Daughter (son) your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:34) These are Jesus words to the woman, as she trembles before Him with the whole truth. Do you hear the relief behind that statement? Sigh. No condemnation. No shame. No anger. Just grace. Amazing grace.

The whole truth leads to healing, peace and freedom from suffering. But hole-y truth leads to anxiety, increased fear and deeper potholes. There’s no freedom in that. Real freedom is in The Truth.

Where do you find yourself not revealing the whole truth? When are you tempted to omit details, embellish the story, or avoid conversations so as not to reveal the truth? Jesus is The Way, The Truth and The Life. He sees it all and knows it all anyway.  It’s pointless to dig holes with Him. We can trust Him with every detail. If you’ve suffered pain from other people’s hole-y truths, know that Jesus can restore what has been broken. He’s a safe place to fall. Let’s approach Him now with the whole truth and allow the healing to begin.

Prayer: Lord Jesus thank you for being full of grace and mercy, making it easy for us to approach You in our weakness.  We fall at your feet now and ask that You reveal in us any ways that our lives have not refelected Your holiness. We know there are many, for You are perfect and we are far from it. As You reveal truth to our lives, help us acknowledge the whole truth, ask for forgiveness, and then help us fill the potholes in our hearts, so that our hole-y living becomes holy living. Fill each one with the fullness of your grace and help us walk in Your truth and Your way. May we experience the healing, peace and freedom that is in You alone and may we share it with others. In Jesus name, Amen

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Soul Resistance

I have learned more about the faithfulness of God from my enemies than from my friends.~ Lisa Bevere

It is through the fire that we are refined. I don’t like this reality, but God is vastly smarter than I am, so I trust the refiner. I’m not in the thick of enemy fire at present time but over the course of my 43 years have experienced it more than I would like. Yet, I appreciate this perspective….what if we thank Jesus for our enemies? For it is through them that we press into Jesus, finding out what we are really made of and determining our source of strength.

Resistance makes the soul grow stronger. It likens working out at the gym. We won’t grow in strength, muscle mass, or endurance if we don’t push ourselves a little more than we are comfortable with. It’s the resistance that forms/maintains muscle and develops endurance.  What if we see our enemies as resistance training for the soul?  They push us to trust Jesus more, pressing into His promises, and applying His truth to our circumstances.  God will take what was meant for evil and bring something  good out of it, as revealed in Genesis 50:20.  Enemies are muscle makers for the soul.

At the same time, I want to resist becoming an enemy to my enemies. Others may choose to find flaws and fractures in me, not a difficult task, but my desire is to reflect His light. I hope He shines through all of my flaws. Defending ourselves is unnecessary when we know Jesus. He alone is our judge, jury and justifier. If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed! Resist the temptation to justify and defend yourself.   If you offer no defense, it takes the wind out of their fiery sails and they will be left to deal with Jesus in the matter. You, on the other hand, will have grater soul strength, enabling you to accomplish far more than you ever thought possible for Jesus. Choosing forgiveness is where freedom is found.

Who are you villainizing in your mind this week? Stop stewing over the offense, letting it simmer in your mind.  There is zero resistance in that kind of thinking.  Trust that God is going to do something amazing in you, as you persevere and praise Him through the pain.  The soul resistance is making you stronger.

Is there someone that once was a friend or family member that has suddenly started to accuse and betray you? It hurts. I know my friend. I’ve been there, but so has Jesus. He empathizes with you. Find strength in Him. He’s going to make you stronger through the fire. Resist the urge to defend yourself and don’t drag their name through the mud. Imagine taking them to Jesus and leaving them at His feet. Remember the guys in Luke 5 that lowered a paralyzed man through the roof of a house so he could be healed by Jesus? Think about your accusers that way. Maybe they are spiritually sick and paralyzed, but unaware of how infected their souls have become. Leave them before Jesus and move forward. He will attend to them. You will be free and your soul will be a whole lot stronger.

Prayer: Jesus, you understand betrayal and accusations. You were perfect and yet people chose to reject, insult, beat and murder You. In return, you offer grace, forgiveness, faithfulness, love and the hope of heaven. It makes no earthly sense and yet we are so thankful. Thank you for being our defender and loving us unconditionally. Help us to surrender our accusers to You, laying them at Your feet and trusting You to deal justly with them. Help us experience freedom in You and strengthen us through the resistance we encounter in this world, especially when we experience it from family and “church people”. Radiate through our weaknesses, Jesus, so that others will see You. Thank you that we can do ALL things through You! In Jesus name, Amen

Stubbed Hearts

There’s nothing quite like a stubbed toe. It can bring out the inner sailor mouth in any of us. You can be in a hurry, just minding your own business, trying to get things done, when….BAM….your poor unsuspecting toe hits the corner of the wall, the leg of a chair, or a bed frame. Ouch! 😵

The pain can be searing and you think your toe might just fall off. Actually, you kind of hope it does  just so the pain will alleviate. My initial instinct is to kick the object of my pain again, because,  it hurt me!😉  Then your whole body goes on temporary  lock down until the pain subsides.   It seems certain that the toe has been crushed,  given the intensity of the the pain, but it’s most often just bruised, and will heal over time.

There is no thinking clearly or communicating with grace in these moments. Just intense, overwhelming pain. How can something so small, cause so much anguish? I surrendered my inner sailor mouth years ago, when I became a Jesus follower, so I’ve had to create new vinacular for moments like this. If you hear me say “crumb bucket”…it’s serious! 😜 (Occasionally the pirate in me will still escape, though, if the conditions are just right…or maybe just wrong. 😉).

But there’s something far worse than a stubbed toe, even more painful, and that is a stubbed heart.

A couple weeks ago my husband and I experienced the trauma of a stubbed heart once again.   We were on the recieving end of hurtful words, accusations, and blame….followed by what feels like complete rejection from a few people we have called friends.  So painful!  It happens in life. We know in this life we will have troubles, but there are occasions, when like an unexpected stubbed toe, it seemingly comes out of nowhere, hitting you by surprise and knocking the air from your lungs. It feels more like the shattering of our hearts into pieces. It can cause that sinking feeling, out of complete disbelief, in a free fall of hurt, and initially it feels as though the heart might just give out altogether.  Life becomes temporarily on lock down, for my mind and heart feel high jacked by hurt; an unwelcome intruder.  There is no shaking off this pain and nothing but time and clinging to God’s gracious hand will lessen the ache. Kicking the source of my pain won’t fix it, though I have to admit, I’ve visilualized that a time or two…or three or four. 😉  We have to deal with our stubbed hearts, but we won’t die from them,  contrary to my feelings.

Ever felt accused and betrayed by people you care about?  We’ve experienced this kind of pain more than I’d like to remember.   I doubt I’m alone in this, given that even our Savior,  Jesus, experienced the heartache of interrogation, accusation, rejection,  and ultimately, condemnation from the religious “elite”, and yet, Jesus was and IS perfect. Even His closest friends  failed Him, as He prepared for His painstaking journey to the cross.  Remember Peter? He denied knowing Jesus to protect himself.  Or how about the two “sons of Zebedee”? They fell asleep instead of praying like Jesus had asked. Jesus was literally sweating drops of blood, and they couldn’t even pray?? How unbelievable! How wrong! How selfish!! How HUMAN….

Then there’s the obvious…Judas.  With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Yes, Jesus understands being let down by people, being labeled, rejected and accused. I wonder if the emotional lashes that He acquired were as painful as the physical lashes? Sometimes it seems that heartaches are intolerable.  When my heart feels teetering on fragile, torn strings, my Jesus, He holds my heart so tenderly, until I’m completely tethered to Him. It is at this point I’m reminded that “if God is for me, who can be against me?” Oh to be loved by Him! He restores my soul to wellness and peace.

Stubbing my toe can cause me to jump up and down with tears in  my eyes….grabbing the wounded little piggy in hopes it will cease its torment. A stubbed heart can illicit similar kinds of reactions. My inclination is to throw a tantrum of teenage size, throwing accusations back, pleading my case, while covering my heart so as to safeguard it from further injury. But then, Jesus…..

He reminds me of His response when accused. His was often silent, for no justification was necessary from Almighty God. When insults and accusations were lashed upon Him in His final days on earth, His words were few with the occasional, “yep that’s who I Am”, or “yep, that’s what you said about me.” (Pardon my paraphrase😉). No denials, just acceptance, for He knew their hearts and minds.  There was no rationalizing with them. A heart determined to find flaw will inevitably find it.  Besides its so much easier to see the mistakes in others; then we don’t have to look within.  Jesus knew His calling in life was ultimately in His death for all of humanity and so He went quietly, willingly.  He modeled surrender and sacrifice.  Ouch!

The truth is Jesus WAS the King of the Jews (as they mocked), the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. He is, in fact, only guilty of being who He said He is. But you know what? At the end of the day, I am guilty. Guilty of all kinds of imperfections, some intentional, some not…..and so are you.  But God knows our hearts. He alone knows our every thought and intention.  With that knowledge I can sing “It is Well with my soul.”

I’m taking my stubbed heart to Jesus and asking Him to soothe the pain, and to help me move forward in spite of the hurt. It’s easy to get stuck in the throbbing aftermath of accusations and rejection.  We can be consumed by it, debilitating us from God’s purpose and plan for our lives. It clouds the mind, and lingers like a fog, that effects our focus and ability to find joy.  Fog can be dangerous. We can lose our way, or rather, His way, if we aren’t careful.  I know I’ve lost my way if I’m more concerned about what people might think about me/us than what God thinks.

Here’s what I’ve learned in my 40ish 😉 years of life: stubbed hearts won’t kill you, but they can propel you toward the arms of Jesus. His loving, grace-filled, forgiving, perfect, patient, humble, gentle, comforting arms will enable us to rest in the storms, trust in the uncertainty, forgive the unforgiveable, offer grace to the most ungracious, and love until our last breath. If heartache is what it takes to trust Jesus more, then bring on the pain! There’s nothing like knowing Jesus and being known by Him.  He loves us in ALL of our imperfections. ❤️

In coping with heartache, I’ve opted for silence and prayer. I’ve written letters to our “friend” and those entertaining negative perceptions about us, and I’ve kept them: usually a good idea after a stubbed heart. God can handle our “crumb bucket” moments, but people usually can’t.  Feelings can be controlled through the power of the Holy Spirit. I will refuse to villainise those that have hurt us, because God’s grace is as sufficient for them as it is for us.  Thank you Jesus!

I’ve cried and cried, and then cried a lot more, releasing the pain, but also allowing myself to feel it. Ignoring our pain just saves it for later and it ends up spewing out on innocent bystanders….usually those we love the most. After buckets of tears and sometimes through them, I praised God. I mean like hands fully extended, heart fully exposed, with passion and assurance, praised His name. In my bathroom. In my bedroom. In my kitchen. In my car. Anywhere and everywhere I’ve been praising Him, because He is good! He is not responsible for my hurt but He will use it to His good and for my growth. When I praise Him, my heart feels lighter, taking the hurt away, even if only temporarily.

Aches and pain seem to return at night. Why is that? What is it about bedtime that brings out every hurtful thought, worry and anxiety? 😳  The enemy seems to delight in the darkness, so we must engage The Light. I’ve opened up my bible when dark thoughts tried to creep in.  I’ve paused to pray, read articles that are helpful for our situation, and looked for ways to reach out to others. A few nights ago I was wrestling with my hurt, so I baked pound cake for some new friends and took it to their home. It got me thinking forward instead of dwelling on the pain and sitting in misery. What could have been a night of basking in my sorrows, became an evening of friendly conversation and the smell of coconut pound cake….the smell alone helped distract my weary heart.😉

Are you feeling hurt, accused and misunderstood this week? Remember it’s just a stubbed heart.  It won’t kill you but it can make you stronger in Him. This momentary pain won’t last forever, but God’s grace will. In the scope of eternity, this is a tiny, itty bitty, owie….your heart is stubbed, not shattered. He will work this to His good, even if you can’t see how right now. Have faith for what you can’t yet see. The fog is going to lift at some point and it will all become clear. With tears and the Son comes a beautiful rainbow!🌈🙌

Know this, Jesus is empathizing with you. He’s felt the sting of accusation, speculation and condemnation of others. Take your wounded heart to Him. He understands.

Be prayerful. Be patient. Get to praising. Press into Jesus for His power, and bake pound cake for friends…😉 He’s got a plan and a purpose for our pain. 🙌  We can do all things through Him!

Matt. 27:12~When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer.

Psalm 34:18~The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Hebrews 11:1~Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

John 16:33~”I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Romans 8:1-2Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Phil.4:19~And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:31~What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Matt.11:29~Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.